- IS PRIESTLY MARRIAGE POSSIBLE? – EVA
By Clement Gwaza
He promised to be paying her school fees and considering the poverty she was in, she thought it wise to grab that opportunity. Unfortunately things turned out to be sour because the priest never fulfilled his promises.
Eva Nkanda (not real name), 25, is a young lady who comes from Zomba Chingale. She was in standard 8 at Chipini primary when she met a man whilst coming from school with her friend. The man was on a motor cycle, and he stopped where they were, he asked them where they were from, and he told them that he was just a visitor in the area. He was a Priest that was sent to visit the area. Eva thought that was all because looking at the man, was too old, around 50s.
Then, the following week there was a game at their school, where she met again that man and they had a good chat.
“I remember him telling us that he was a soccer fanatic and that he plans to launch a trophy in our area. He also told me that he loved irrigation and that was the end of our second conversation. Whilst at the end he asked us our names,” narrated Eva.
Then after a week, Eva saw a certain young man who brought a letter and in the letter, Eva was invited to a Youth meeting that was to be held at the Parish. When she told her mother, and relatives, they all gave her a go ahead because they thought this was a for the priest wanted to be paying school fees for some students in the area.
“My relatives encouraged me to go because the Priest would have been an advantage on their school fees crisis. I did not hesitate but rather go to there,” added Eva.
Little did she know that whatever the Priest was doing to her was totally different from what she thought. When she reached at the parish, she was surprised to find that there was nothing like Youth Meeting. Eva was welcomed by the Priest and was told to enter inside the house. To her surprise, he made many promises including sending her to boarding school and all financial support. He even promised to support her siblings. They had a very good conversation that day and to Eva, it was like another milestone.
To her surprise, the Priest went to his room and she was on the sitting room. He called her to follow him to his room. Since she was afraid, she followed him and the man grabbed her, forced himself into her and the obvious thing happened.
“I tried to resist him but he overpowered me. He then torn my underwear and forced himself. I was in deep pain for it was my first time to have sex. I cannot remember how I was brought back home buts when I woke up my mother was weeping,” said Eva.
One would question why she not call for a help did, she said she thought that would distract her ambition of getting sponsorship and all the promises made to her.
Then the after two days, Priest told her that she should get prepared because soon she would be going to Nyungwe Girls Secondary School. Unfortunately, she only learnt a single term, she discovered that she was pregnant. Having known the consequences, rules and regulations of the school, Eva had to run away from school. She had to cheat her parents that she was chased for failing to finish off the school fees. Then after sometime, she started changing her statements.
“I started telling him (Priest) that I was pregnant so I could not proceed with my education but to him it used to be sounded like a joke. Then after sometime, he noticed some signs in me and he was hostile every time I meet him” said Eva.
To her surprise, he told her to get prepared so that they should go to Banja La Mtsogolo. It really happened, we were on our way from Chipini to Zomba city.
“Initially, he told me that we would be going to Banja La Mtsogolo for verification purpose but I think deep down he had already discussed with some nurses at the hospital,” said Eva.
It came as a surprise because she was given some medicine which in the end were meant to abort the baby. When this was happening, her parents did not know anything and even where she was.
“When I asked him why he did that, he became furious and told me that he is a Priest that means he cannot marry. After that I returned home with him and I had a continuous menstrual for six months,” lamented Eva.
She said later on, she started coughing, the beginning of tuberculosis. When she visited a certain hospital, it was found out that she had tuberculosis. After that incident, Eva thought otherwise and decided to find someone of his age. He was a young man doing some studies at certain private colleges.
When the priest heard this, he frightened them and promised to deal with them should the relationship continue. So Eva had to think otherwise and terminated the relationship.
So the priest started taking her wherever he was going and to her that was like a family. Then he impregnated her again, but for her not to abort Eva went to her home village to stay with her parents till she gave birth. He tried his best to make her abort again but failed in the end. He could come and take her for a walk but she vowed never to take any kind of food from him again until she gave birth. Then in 2010 she gave birth to a baby boy and was named Andrew (not real name).
But despite getting financial support, she is worried on how people will treat her son if they come to know who her father is. She is not sure when will be the best time to tell her son about their relationship. But to her she is married to a priest.
She is currently staying at Chinamwali in Zomba selling second half clothes and the priest visits her all the time